Encouraging My Daughter

Something I am trying to reconcile in my mind is about my daughter. I know, for right now at least, that I am the biggest influencer in her life. I don't want to get this wrong! My question is how should I influence her??

This weekend after I got dressed, she said she wanted to be my twin and went and got matching clothes from her closet!

I want her to know and to believe that she can do anything she wants to do. Can be anybody she wants to be. OK, Meri Hobbs, you want to cure cancer? You can do it! Want to own your own company? You got it! Want to fly a big airplane? No problem! Want to teach 5th graders how to conjugate sentences? Easy! Want to perform complicated brain surgeries? Piece of cake! You can do whatever you set your heart and mind to do! I believe in you!

But here's where the flip side is. What if God wants her to be a wife and a mom? What if that's her heart's desire? I think that's awesome!! But how often do I encourage that?

I don't want her to think that just because I chose to quit my job and stay at home, that's what she has to do. I want her to find her own way. And I know that a lot of people think that staying home is the only thing a Christian woman needs to do. (See my thoughts on that here). 

I don't want to encourage her so much to be a successful businesswoman that I discourage anything else. I mean, let's face it, it would be harder for her to quit a job as surgeon than it would to quit a job as a teacher. (Harder because of the money she would lose is a lot more...harder because the years she invested to get her education would be a lot more...)

So here's where I am in it right now. I am trying to, sort of, balance my encouragement. I will encourage her to do her best, succeed in school, get involved, find what she loves and pursue it. But I'm also trying to find those moments that's she's doing wife and mom things, and encourage those. For example, when she's helping her little brother zip his coat...."Oh, Meri Hobbs, you are such a thoughtful sister. You are going to be a great mom one day!" When she wants to help unload the dishwasher...."Meri Hobbs, I love how eager you are to help in the kitchen. One day, you're going to have a husband who appreciates the things you do for him." I also need to model to her how to be a wife and a mom. She needs to see that I view my "job" as a joy, not a burden. I need to show her that serving my family makes me happy, and that it makes God happy. She needs to see that I am not less of a woman or less important than working women because of my choice to be home.

More than anything, though, I want Meri Hobbs to learn to seek what God wants for her. I want her to learn to pray through her decisions. To search the Bible for answers. To have a peace that she is following God's heart in the choices she makes for her life. In the end, if she's doing that, it won't matter if the only thing I ever told her was to become a circus clown. She will do what God wants, and that is what this mom wants for her!

How do YOU encourage your daughters?

Thankfulness Days #23-30

Mmkay, I missed a few days! But we had a wonderful trip to Mississippi to celebrate all our blessings with our families, and we have been trying to decorate for Christmas. I forgot how MUCH is involved in this. And how messy it gets. And how much there is to put up/take down. Yikes.

OK....
#23. Thankful for Starbucks. YUM! White chocolate mocha no whip, please!

#24. Thankful for my children's friends. I love watching them play with their friends and I am so glad they have good friends from our church.

#25. Thankful for church committees that work so hard to get things done. I did something I never thought I'd do this week...write a thank you letter to the finance committee! HA! But I'm so thankful for a church who works to see that our financial needs are met.

#26. And because of that, I'm able to stay home with my children. So thankful for that! I may have already mentioned this one. But it's worth another mention. I love being able to be here. I love that my husband supports me in that. Wouldn't miss these moments for anything!

#27. Thankful for heated seats in my car!

#28. Thankful for Dr. Pepper. Hardly a day goes by that I miss out on one!

#29. Thankful for technology. Love my iphone, blogging, facebook, Words with Friends, email, texts, etc

#30. Thankful for the birth of Christ. Looking forward to celebrating with my sweet family the TRUE meaning for the upcoming season.

Thankfulness Day #10

Today I am thankful for yoga pants. Seriously...best thing ever! It has a 2-fold purpose.

1. Of course, numero uno is comfort. Being a SAHM, I have no need to bother with makeup or fashion or any other such nonsense. It's all about comfort. I only have to deal with actual buttons and zippers maybe twice a week!

2. A bonus benefit is that if I do actually venture out of the house (rare occurrence) and someone happens to see me, there is a slight possibility that they may jump to the completely-wrong conclusion that I have been exercising. Since, of course, I'm in exercise clothes.

Disclaimer: This is NOT a picture of me in yoga pants. This is picture I found on google images. If this was, in fact, me, it would indicate that I had been exercising; which as I previously stated, I have not. Plus, my feet aren't that big! :)

Another thing I'm thankful for is that the last pair (or 6) of yoga pants I bought at the Gap outlet were $2.99 each. I thought they were $7 each, and they rang up at $2.99. SCORE!

The Big Debate...Stay at Home or Work?

There is a big debate happening....No, I don't mean the presidential one. Stay at home mom vs working mom.  My oldest child is 6. I have worked/stayed at home about half and half. I have worked full time and part time during that time. About two years ago, I decided (again) to stay home. This time I think it's for good.

BUT, when I was working, I kid you not, I had a woman tell me that I was blaspheming the Word of God by working. Say what?! Now, I believe this lady had great intentions, so I wasn't mad...just taken back. Way back! Her exact words were, "I hate to see the Word of God being blasphemed by my pastor's wife." Wow. How do you even respond to that? She was using Titus 2 as her basis where it says that older women should teach the younger women to be (among other things) "workers at home." I do not believe this means every woman must only work at home, never outside the home. (Look at the Proverbs 31 woman) I think that's between you and God.

I think this a personal decision between God, your spouse and you. But what makes people presume to think you want their unsolicited opinion? And this happens a lot. Stay at home moms feel judged by working moms. Working moms feel judged by stay at home moms. Homeschool moms feel judged by other moms. "Go to school" moms feel judged by homeschool moms. It goes on and on. Why can't we support one another and just be MOMS? Without all the labels? I'll do my best for my family, and you do your best for your family. How about that?

Honestly, I don't see how working moms get everything done. I am in awe that they can go to work, plus still have time for homework, ball games, dance class, plus all the cooking, cleaning and laundry. Y'all deserve an award in my book! I sure couldn't do it. I can't do it all now and I'm home!! And just because I chose to stay home doesn't mean I think you hate your kids if you didn't choose that. When I was younger, I always said I would never be able to stay home, and there was a period when I stayed home that I was miserable. So I got a job! And then later I quit it, and then later.......

So, whatever your choice...don't feel locked in! Change is scary; and for us, losing that income was really scary. But SOOO worth it. I feel confident that I am "working" right where God wants me right now. What I lost in salary, I gained in so many other ways. And I'm so thankful for a supportive husband who let me figure out what I was supposed to do...and change my mind several times along the way!


Bottom line....who cares what someone else thinks? You do what God calls you to do and what is best for you and your family. Don't let someone bully you into thinking what you're doing is wrong. Let's support each others decision and both be the best moms we can be. K thanks.

Is it Worth It?

Do you ever wonder if what you do matters to anyone? No? It's just me?? Surely not!

I have to admit, I do wonder that. I taught school BK (before kids), and I KNEW that I was making a difference to at least some of those kids. I invested in them and loved them and I could see close to immediate results in their attitudes or behaviors or grades. I loved those kids who were "at risk" and at least for the 9 months that I had them, I knew that they knew they mattered to someone. And I bet some of my former students look back at their 4th grade year and have good memories. I bet some still list me as their favorite teacher. And that makes me proud. And I felt important. I got sweet notes and colored pictures from my students. I got encouraging emails and fun gifts from parents. I got constant feedback.

Fast forward 7 years....now I spend my days washing, folding, sweeping, wiping, dressing, bathing, reading, reminding, fussing, helping, cooking, fixing, correcting.... Does it matter?? Will my kids look back 20 years from now and know how fiercely I love them?? How, even on my worst, most selfish days I do what I do for them? Will they know that even on my most frustrated, least patient days that I would not trade one second of being here with them? Does my husband know that now? Do any of them care that a magical unicorn does not put their t-shirts in their drawer or wash their favorite sippy cup? Does it matter that I'm the one here picking up spilled Cheerios and wiping fingerprints off the doors?  Will they realize that when I fail completely as a mother and a wife, I do it with good intentions? Does any of it matter?

I'm a big fan of positive reinforcement, and ya know, with 4 young ones, I just don't always get it! So, as I was having these super-encouraging, not at all self-pitying thoughts one day, this song came on the radio:

Do Everything by Steven Curtis Chapman


You’re picking up toys on the living room floor for the 15th time today;
Matching up socks and sweeping up lost Cheerios that got away.
You put a baby on your hip and color on your lips and head out the door.
And while I may not know you, I bet I know you wonder sometimes does it matter at all?
Well let me remind you it all matters just as long as you
Do everything you do to the glory of the One who made you
Cause He made you to do
Every little thing that you do to bring a smile to His face
And tell the story of grace
With every move that you make
And every little thing you do

One little verse and chorus to one song changed my whole perspective! Who cares if my family never realizes any of that? I have completely had my focus wrong! I should not do what I do for my family, or even out of my great love for my family. I should do what I do for HIM and out of my great love for HIM.

I'm not saying that I never want my family to appreciate me (or reward me with a pedicure every now and then), but I know that when I serve my family as a way to serve my God, my need for constant approval will be diminished, and I will be content knowing that I am bringing glory to the One who made me!

Have you ever felt this way? What helped you change your focus?

Introducing ME!

Wow! I feel like I should have a dynamic opening for my first sentence of my first blog post! But I don't! So, welcome!! Let me introduce myself. Although, the 2 people who will probably read this (hi, Mom!) already know me. But just in case....

I am Stacy. First, I am Christian. If you know nothing else about me, I want you to know this! God has saved me, redeemed my life and is  in the process of changing me. And boy does He have lots to change! That's really what this blog is about. Me changing. Me growing. Me becoming....well, me. The me I want to be. The me HE wants me to be, and I'm so very far from that. But praise God, He is the potter and will finish the good work that He has begun in me!

I am also a wife. A pastor's wife! Eek! That provides me with lots of (self-imposed) pressure. Thankfully, I am married to a Godly, amazing, understanding man who reminds me that the only One I have to please is God. Everything else will fall into place. I love being a wife. I love being Eddie's wife. And most days, I love being a pastor's wife.  Because I love being Eddie's wife so much, I can get a little possessive of his time, and sometimes that is a conflict with the busy life of a pastor. But that's part of what makes our life so interesting, too.

And, I'm a mom. A full-time, stay at home, 24 hour mom. We have 4 unbelievably awesome kids! Sam (6), Meri Hobbs (4), Eli (2) and Noah (11 months). They are so much fun and I am so completely in love with being their mom. Some days are crazy and I get stressed and grumpy and impatient and complain that I just need some ME TIME, but I would not trade these moments for anything!  I want to introduce you to these kids (and Eddie, too) so I will do that over the next few days. Let ya meet the whole fam!

I'm also a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a friend, a cousin, a niece.....but I won't do a paragraph for each one...yet! :)

When I told a friend who is a pro at blogging that I was thinking about doing a blog, she asked me what my focus was. I don't really have a focus. My focus is simply life as I know it. My journey to ME! I want to be better at life. I want to be a better Christian, a better wife, a better pastor's wife, a better homemaker, a better mom, a better friend....a better me. So if you want to join me on my journey, come on!!