Friday, October 7, 2011

The Big Debate...Stay at Home or Work?

There is a big debate happening....No, I don't mean the presidential one. Stay at home mom vs working mom.  My oldest child is 6. I have worked/stayed at home about half and half. I have worked full time and part time during that time. About two years ago, I decided (again) to stay home. This time I think it's for good.

BUT, when I was working, I kid you not, I had a woman tell me that I was blaspheming the Word of God by working. Say what?! Now, I believe this lady had great intentions, so I wasn't mad...just taken back. Way back! Her exact words were, "I hate to see the Word of God being blasphemed by my pastor's wife." Wow. How do you even respond to that? She was using Titus 2 as her basis where it says that older women should teach the younger women to be (among other things) "workers at home." I do not believe this means every woman must only work at home, never outside the home. (Look at the Proverbs 31 woman) I think that's between you and God.

I think this a personal decision between God, your spouse and you. But what makes people presume to think you want their unsolicited opinion? And this happens a lot. Stay at home moms feel judged by working moms. Working moms feel judged by stay at home moms. Homeschool moms feel judged by other moms. "Go to school" moms feel judged by homeschool moms. It goes on and on. Why can't we support one another and just be MOMS? Without all the labels? I'll do my best for my family, and you do your best for your family. How about that?

Honestly, I don't see how working moms get everything done. I am in awe that they can go to work, plus still have time for homework, ball games, dance class, plus all the cooking, cleaning and laundry. Y'all deserve an award in my book! I sure couldn't do it. I can't do it all now and I'm home!! And just because I chose to stay home doesn't mean I think you hate your kids if you didn't choose that. When I was younger, I always said I would never be able to stay home, and there was a period when I stayed home that I was miserable. So I got a job! And then later I quit it, and then later.......

So, whatever your choice...don't feel locked in! Change is scary; and for us, losing that income was really scary. But SOOO worth it. I feel confident that I am "working" right where God wants me right now. What I lost in salary, I gained in so many other ways. And I'm so thankful for a supportive husband who let me figure out what I was supposed to do...and change my mind several times along the way!

Bottom line....who cares what someone else thinks? You do what God calls you to do and what is best for you and your family. Don't let someone bully you into thinking what you're doing is wrong. Let's support each others decision and both be the best moms we can be. K thanks.


Beverly Wooley said...

Girlfriend - you ought to have a dozen people echoing AMEN to this post!! Great wisdom! I once saw a whole SS class split because the teacher was dogmatic that wives were ONLY to be keepers at home. She made some of the young wives that had no choice but to work to help feed their families feel like spiritual failures. ARGH - when we take our opionions, attach a scripture to it and turn it into doctrine!

Dustin & Ashley said...

Amen! I totally agree that it is a decision between you and God. What you decide effects you and your family only. I admire all moms because no matter if you work or stay at home you are still WORKING! And raising a family.

Kayla Halls said...

Well put, Stacy. Welllll put :)