I'm not really one to make resolutions. I did, however, reflect on my last year and figure out where I wanted to change. Where I wanted to improve. What I wanted to do with my new start.
With the husband: I want to be more of an asset to him and his ministry. Since we started dating in 1997, my prayer has been that I would never be a hindrance to his ministry. I'm sure there have been times I have come up short in this.
I am very sensitive. And I'm not good at hiding my feelings. If I'm thinking it, you can read it on my face. And I'm most sensitive and can be most defensive about my husband. And sometimes people can be insensitive. And thoughtless. Mean, even. Sometimes even church people. I hope and pray that as things have happened in the past, that my responses and reactions have not reflected badly on Eddie.
I want to be more of an encouragement to him. I want to be a place of refuge for him. I want him to never doubt that I support him 100% and will always "have his back." I want to complain less. I want to be more positive. I want to make less suggestions. I want to jump to conclusions less and give him the benefit of the doubt more. I want to make fewer assumptions.
I want to be the wife with a gentle, quiet spirit which is precious in the sight of God (1 Peter 3:4). I want to be more loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle, and self-controlled (Galatians 5:22-23).
With the kids: I want to be more there. I want to watch them play less and play with them more. I want to cook for them less and cook with them more. I want to read to them less and read with them more. I want to listen to them giggle less and laugh with them more.
I want to them look at me and see my delight and love, and not an angry, disappointed, frustrated face. I want to be more patient. More gentle. More fun. More relaxed.
I want to be a better example of God's love for us and to encourage them to grow in to Godly men and women.
With me: I want to be more intentional and consistent in my time alone with God.
I want to be a better friend. Be more compassionate. Be more generous. Be less focused on me and more focused on others. Be more helpful. Be proactive instead of reactive. Be more gracious.
I want to worry less about what I should have done or need to be doing and just enjoy my life and my family and the blessings that God has given me.
I want to have less expectation. Especially for my children. I have really high expectations, which I don't necessarily think is a bad thing. God expects perfection from us. But He is more gracious and loving with me when I fail than I am when others don't meet my expectations. I need to realize that my children are just that...children.... and be a better guide in showing them how to live instead of impatiently and angrily telling them when they get it wrong.
Wow. This is kinda an overwhelming list. Impossible, even. Thank goodness that "with God, all things are possible." (Matthew 19:26)
What changes do you want to make?